Housesitter
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: Laverne & Shirley go on a trip & leave Lauren to watch their apartment.


**Housesitter**

**ONE**  
girls' apartment, early afternoon 

"I can't believe we still had to work a half day the day we're leaving for our trip!" Shirley said, locking her suitcase. 

"Get over it, Shirl! Shotz is too cheap to let anyone off for more time than they actually ask for," Laverne said. "Now, where the heck is Lauren at?" 

"You called?" Lauren said, poking her head in the girls' street level window. "Sorry I'm late..." 

"Never mind, just come down here. We gotta get goin'!" Laverne said. 

"Okay, okay, ya don't hafta bite my head off!" Lauren said. 

A few minutes later, the girls have said goodbye and left Lauren to watch their apartment. 

"Man, I'm hungry. I hope they left me some food," Lauren said, walking towards the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator door. "Looks like I'm gonna hafta do a little shopping... it's totally empty!" 

"Hello!" Squiggy said, barging in. 

Lenny and Squiggy came in the apartment and started looking around. 

"Sorry, guys, the girls left already," Lauren said. 

"Awwe... they didn't even say goodbye," Lenny said, going over to the couch. 

Squiggy walked over to the kitchen/living room divider. "I wonder why they didn't ask us to watch their place?..." 

"Because they don't trust you?" Lauren retorted. 

"Ha ha ha... that was so funny I forgot to laugh," Squiggy said. 

"Was there somethin' else you two wanted or should I just kick ya out now?" Lauren asked. 

"I can find my own way out, thank you," Squiggy said, walking twoards the door. He tripped up the two steps, straightened out, opened the door, and went out slamming it behind him. 

"Hey, Len? Tell me som'en, why are you friends with him? I mean, I'm his step-sister and I don't like him," Lauren asked, walking towards the couch. She sat down next to Lenny. 

"I dunno, I never really thought about it before," Lenny said. He looked at Lauren. "You're not gonna kick me out, are ya?" 

"No, I just said that to get rid of Squiggy. However, I do need to do a little grocery shopping... the girls didn't leave me any food in the fridge and I don't feel like living off cereal and pizza for three days!" Lauren said. 

"I'll go with ya," Lenny said. 

"Okay," Lauren said, standing up. "Now, I just hafta find the girls' house key..." 

"Wait..." Lenny said. he took off his left boot, tuned it upsidedown, and shook it. A key fell on the floor. "Here ya go." He handed it to Lauren. 

Lauren looked at the key, then looked at Lenny. "Why?..." she caught herself, "never mind. 

**TWO**

  
Slotnik's, 20 minutes later 

Lauren is pushing a cart while Lenny is putting every item he wants in the cart. 

"Len, you've got twenty containers of Bosco in there. Isn't that a bit much?" Lauren asked, putting a bag of chips in the cart. 

"You can never have enough Bosco... ooh, lookit this!" Lenny said. "Large economy size Bosco!" 

"Len," Lauren said, then smiled, "enough with the Bosco! I want real food.. I wonder what they've got for TV dinners.." 

**THREE **

  
girls' apartment, an hour (and 20 containers of Bosco) later 

Lauren had just finished putting the groceries away. She's looking over the receipt. "Nearly ten bucks worth of Bosco... the next time I go shopping here, I'm not taking you with me," she said, plopping down on the couch. She kicked her shoes off and propped her feet on the coffee table. 

Lenny came over and sat down next to her. "Sorry." He gave her a pathetic look. 

Lauren received the look. "Oh, Len, please, don't look at me like that! It makes me wanna kiss you..." She slapped her hand over her mouth, realizing she said that out loud. 

"Really?" Lenny said and gave her the same look again. 

Lauren turned away. "I'm not looking!" 

"Awwe, c'mon, you said it an' I heard it!" Lenny said. 

Lauren turned back to face him. Lenny was now looking at her normally. They leaned closer to each other... 

"Hello!" Squiggy said, barging in. 

Lauren snapped back and sat as she had been when she first sat down. "Whadya want now?" 

"Lenny. We've got second shift for deliveries today," Squiggy said. 

Lenny got up and the two left, slamming the door behind them. 

Lauren leaned forward, turned the TV on, and sat back. She sighed. "Why does Lenny hafta be so darn cute?" 

**FOUR**

  
late night 

The lights are off in the living room, but Lauren is sitting in the pitch black room watching a monster movie. She's watching "Godzilla Eats Tokyo" and Godzilla has just 'belched up Yokahama'. A commercial came on and Lauren got up. She walked into the kitchen to get a snack. She heard a noise and spun around. She stared at the apartment door while moving sideways. She stopped in front of the dumb-waiter. The door to it opened and a hand reached out and touched Lauren's shoulder. She screamed and spun around. Lenny was trying to get out of the dumb-waiter without hitting his head. 

"Boy, whatta great night for coal mining!" Lenny said. 

Lauren swallowed hard. "You scared the crap outta me! You shouldn't do that to someone who's been watching a monster movie in the dark!" 

"Whatcha watchin'?" Lenny asked, genuinely curious. 

Lauren calmed down. "Godzilla Eats Tokyo." 

"That's a great one... have they shown the part where he belches up Yokahama yet?" Lenny asked. 

"Yeah, you just missed it," Lauren said. She turned and walked back to the couch. She sat down. 

Lenny followed. "Uh... I'm sorry I scared ya." 

Lauren had a pained look on her face. "Yeah." 

Lenny sat down next to her. "Really." 

Lauren looked at Lenny. "Why did ya come through the dumb-waiter? If ya'd knocked on the door, I woulda letcha in." 

"Squig didn't wanna let me out. He rigged up this thing to make a noise when our apartment door was opened. I couldn't take the chance," Lenny said. 

Now, why would Squiggy do somethin' like that? Lauren asked herself. "Len, maybe you should go back up." 

"Can I see the end of the movie first?" Lenny asked. 

"Yeah... just don't make any weird noises that'll scare me!" Lauren said. 

**FIVE**

morning 

The door to the girls' apartment flew open. Squiggy came in and gawked. he tried to speak, but nothing came out. The TV was still on, complete with early morning test-pattern. 

On the couch, he saw Lenny and Lauren, asleep. Lenny had his arm over Lauren as if he were keeping her from falling off the couch. Finally, Squiggy got over his initial shock and blurted out, "What the heck is goin' on here?!" 

"Wha-" Lenny said. He moved his arm and Lauren rolled of the couch and onto the floor. 

"Uh... that was some landing.." Lauren said and looked up. She saw Squiggy standing there with a surprised look on his face. She looked up at the couch and saw that Lenny didn't leave. "Oh no..." 

Lenny sat up quickly. "Squig, I can explain..." 

Squiggy turned and left. Lenny followed quickly behind and slammed the door after him. 

Lauren was still on the floor. She rested her chin in her palms. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this!" 

**SIX**

  
boys' apartment, later that morning 

Lenny has been moping around. Squiggy hasn't said a word since they left the girls' apartment a few hours earlier. 

Lenny finally had enough. "Squig, if ya wanna say som'en, say it!" 

Squiggy glared at him. "Fine, ya want me to say som'en, okay, I will: What were you thinkin'?... Did ya lease your brain to science?!" 

"I liked it better when you weren't talkin' to me," Lenny mumbled. "We were watchin' the monster movie last night an' I fell asleep! You made me go down there - riggin' up the door to the apartment the way ya did..." he said, noticeably louder. 

"I made ya?!... I was tryin' to prevent that!" Squiggy argued. "I don't want Lauren to get hurt." 

"That's why you did that..." Lenny started. 

"Squig?" 

Squiggy looked around the room. "What was that?' 

"Go over to the dumb-waiter... uh... coal mine." 

Squiggy walked over to the dumb-waiter and opened the door. 

"I heard what ya said." 

"Lauren?" Sqiggy asked. 

"Yeah... hold on, I'm gonna come up there... I don't think we wanna give the whole building a free show!" 

A few minutes later, there's a knock at the door. 

Lenny went over and opened the door. "Hi." 

"Hi, Len," Lauren said. 

"Hello," Squiggy said. He was now sitting on his bunk. 

"Fellas, I don't want you two mad at each other..." Lauren said and went over to Squiggy. She sat down next to him. "Squig, why would ya think that I'd get hurt? We were watchin' a movie, that's all." 

"Well... uh... I... um... care about ya," Squiggy said. 

Lauren checked her ears. "Did I hear you say you care about me?..." She gave him a hug. "You've finally learned!... Now, if only we could work on how you enter a room..." 

**SEVEN**

  
girls' apartment, a few minutes later 

The door opened and Lauren came in followed by Lenny, who stayed in the doorway. 

"Uh, thanks for helpin' me with Squig," Lenny said. 

"I helped all of us... now we an just forget about it and move on," Lauren said, beginning to flip through a notebook. "...Now, when did the girls say they were comin' back?..." 

"You wanna leave?..." Lenny said, a hurt look on his face. 

Lauren stopped searching and turned. She walked back over to Lenny, who was now sitting on the steps in between the door and the girls' sunken living room. She sat down next to him. "I'm sorry it came out like that. I don't wanna leave... but it seems as though everytime I visit som'en happens between us..." 

Lenny looked at her, still with the hurt look. "Like what?" 

"Well..." Lauren said, then paused. A few seconds passed, then she kissed him. "Like that." 

"I like that," Lenny said, then smiled. 

**EIGHT** girls' apartment, the next day 

Laverne and Shirley had just gotten back from their trip and are unpacking. 

"So, how did things go while we were gone?" Shirley asked. 

"Yeah, did ya have a party or som'en?" Laverne asked, then looked around the room. "No party." 

"No party and things went fine. As a matter of fact, me and Squig are gettin' along alot better," Lauren answered. 

"How'd that happen?" Laverne asked. 

Lauren got her stuff and walked over to the apartment door. She opened the door. "Lenny and I fell asleep on the couch while watching "Godzilla Eats Tokyo"." She left, closing the door behind her. 

Shirley stopped what she was doing. "Laverne?..." 

Laverne looked at Shirley. "Lauren!?..." 

The two girls ran out the door after Lauren. 

THE END :)~


End file.
